Wednesday, January 21, 2004

Give Them What They Want, Vol. I
The WULAD Marketing Team has been under a lot of stress recently to keep those new visitors coming in—to the point that the Team captain recently had to cryogenically freeze his entire family to allow him more time to spend on the problem—but the hard work seems to be paying off in increased "hits," much to the delight of the DoucheCo media empire's corporate brass, who are after all only concerned with the bottom line. However, one idea recently advanced by the team regards all the random visitors who happen by the site while looking for something else—such as the multitude of glances directed our way during the recent travails of Ms. Hilton and her adult cinematic debut.

"Why not," they asked, "give these random visitors what they're looking for, and therefore a reason to come back again?" Why not indeed. So, my dear search engine seekers, I say to you now in the words of fine car commercials of the past: you asked for it, you got it.

Here then, are the fruits of our pandering labors, collected from five recent searches which led weary Googlers to our door:

If these crowd-pleasing examples are successful in seducing and ensnaring new visitors, they may be followed by many others; so don't stop searching now! Excelsior!