Nobody communicates the subtelty of human tragedy quite like AOL News.

More Fun with AOL News



Pleeeeease, can I hear the voices of sorrow and rage? Huh, can I?!

[Additional More Fun with AOL News here, here, here, here, here, and also here.]

Mütter, Lässt Ihre Babys Aufwachsen Nicht, Cowboys zu Sein

This is something I saw on AOL News today:



And this is how I read it:



... I'm not sure which would go over better with country music fans.

AOL News, On Top of It As Usual

My Favorite Sentence from a News Story Today
"But the scandal is also one rooted in the behavior of military reservists working at the prison, an environment that testimony has portrayed as more frat house than military prison, a place where inmates were routinely left naked and soldiers took pictures of one another simulating sex with fruit."

New Variations on the "I Don’t Give a ______" Theme, Developed While Watching a News Story About the "Runaway Bride"

• I don’t give a crap’s ass.
  
  
• I don’t give a rat’s hoot.
  
  
• I don’t give a flying ass.
  
  
• I don’t give a damn’s crap.
  
  
• I don’t give a good God’s ass.
  
  
• I don’t give a flying hoot’s ass.
  
  
• I don’t give a flying shit’s crap.
  
  
• I don’t give a damn God’s shit.
  
  
• I don’t give a crap’s ass-crap.
  
  
• I don’t give a flying God’s hooting rat crap.
  
  
• You know when a piece of crap sits on a toilet and takes a crap? That's what I don't give.
  
  
• I don’t give a God.

Misc.
I went to see Hitchhiker’s Guide last night. It was resoundingly, overwhelmingly, sort-of OK. However, the moment that made it worthwhile for me was the bit where they played the music from the radio and TV shows—I had prepared myself to be really disappointed at not hearing that music, so when I actually did hear it, I was so pleasantly surprised that it made my general disappointment with the rest of the movie less noticeable. (Incidentally, for purists, the BBC has started on the radio version of So Long... with most of the original cast. You can listen to it here. But if you were a purist you already knew that.)

The Yankees are in last place. I’m all broke up about it.

Tomorrow, C-Baby and I are going to see this:



Olé, suckers!

Nope



I was prepared to think AOL was becoming cool until I realized this didn't actually say "What's Hot for Porn This Year?"

P.S. Everyone please join hands and say a silent prayer for the soul who accessed this site today while searching for "Joe Lieberman Nude."