Wrapped Up Like A Douche

Contest of the Century
So this Toto thing has really gotten my mental gears whizzing, but rather than spend hours devising my own answers, I’ve decided to open the floor to suggestions from the world’s greatest peanut gallery: You.

Here’s the deal: Tell me what the Toto song “Africa” means. Is it a paean to lost pre-colonial ideals? A Joseph-Campbell-esque commentary on the shallowness of our mythologically-bereft society? An overproduced pop song about a guy who gets laid in Africa? Or some combination of all of these? And what exactly, Boy, is waiting there for you?

Best answer wins a fabulous signed photo of something or someone. In case your collective memories need refreshing, here are the complete lyrics to this great American anthem:

I hear the drums echoing tonight
But she hears only whispers of some quiet conversation
She’s coming in twelve-thirty flight
Her moonlit wings reflect the stars that guide me towards salvation
I stopped an old man along the way
Hoping to find some old forgotten words or ancient melodies
He turned to me as if to say: “Hurry boy, it’s waiting there for you”

It’s gonna take a lot to drag me away from you
There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do
I bless the rains down in Africa
Gonna take some time to do the things we never had

The wild dogs cry out in the night
As they grow restless longing for some solitary company
I know that I must do what's right
Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti
I seek to cure what's deep inside, frightened of this thing that I've become

[Repeat chorus]

[Instrumental break]

Hurry boy, she's waiting there for you

[Repeat chorus]