Wrapped Up Like A Douche

Attention Weary Searchers
The WULAD Community Appeasement Council has decided to break down, once again, and give readers what they apparently want—in this case, addressing the desires of the hundreds of people who have accessed the site in the past few days, urgently seeking one of two unusual things. We'll tackle them in order, and then it's back to the usual non-pandering, after an enjoyable Halloween weekend for all, of course.

Part 1:
To those curious souls who—for what I will assume are completely innocent, non-racist reasons—need to know (Boston Red Sox centerfielder) Johnny Damon's ethnicity: His father is white, his mother is Thai. You can go back to living your lives now. Unless you've been looking for...

Part 2 (Exclusive!):
You loved her witty repartee and incisive commentary during the World Series—now you can get an even closer look. After an exhaustive search during which our intrepid staff risked life and limb, WULAD may now finally present our readers with perhaps the most sought-after image since Our Lady Paris of Hilton flashed her hoo-hah: Jeanne Zelasko nude.



And don't say I never give you anything.