Thursday, December 16, 2004

Two More Short Lists, Based on Events in the News

Reasons for the Crowd’s Celebration Upon Receiving News of Scott Peterson’s Death Sentence

  • They love justice. No, they loooooooooove it.

  • Mistakenly thought they were at a monster truck rally and the Ku Klux Krusher was about to take on Multiculturizer II.

  • They were really angry about Scott Peterson’s lack of public apology for crime he has steadfastly denied committing for past two years.

  • Those were hoots ‘n’ hollers of profound sympathy for the victims’ family.

  • Convinced Laci really would’ve liked them, and possibly even made out with them, if she’d only had the chance

  • U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

Names for the New Washington D.C. Baseball Stadium Which I Would Gladly Finance After Winning the Lottery
  • Armpit of America Field

  • The Die Ralph Nader Complex

  • Yankees Suck Stadium

  • Where's Osama Field

  • Ronald Reagan What-Now?

  • Kid Who Always Got Picked Last Stadium

  • George W. Bush is an Ignorant Election-Stealing Millionaire Jackass who Never Worked a Day in his Life and Should Never Have Won One Term Let Alone Two You Stupid Idiotic Rednecks Field

  • Ian’s Enormous Manhood Park

  • Youppi Memorial Stadium