In Other News
- During last night's Yankee/Red Sox game (featuring an epic pitching battle between a giant superhuman throwing machine and some fat dude), Joe Morgan (of ESPN and other organizations) suggested that the big flaw in baseball's new steroids policy was that players (Alex Sanchez, for example) could just say they didn't do it, or claim their positive test was due to vitamins. You're a titan of logic, Joe.
- I must say that nothing kicks off the season like Niman Ranch Fearless Franks®-brand hot dogs. They're plump, tasty, and guaranteed to be relatively Bovine Spongiform Encephalitis-free, and I would gladly continue to sing their praises in this space in exchange for a 162-game supply of said franks and maybe some beer and pickles.
- Regis said this morning that it was "ironic" the last word of Pope John Paul II was "Amen." I think it would've been more ironic if his last word had been "blowjob."