Wrapped Up Like A Douche

Short Reactions to Items on the Local Morning News

Item: American Idol host Ryan Seacrest has been awarded a star on Hollywood’s "Walk of Fame."

Reaction: Hollywood’s "Walk of Fame" is a crock of shit.

Item: According to KRON 4’s Darya Folsom, Gavin Newsom "overcame his good looks to become a successful mayor."

Reaction: Darya Folsom wants to "do" Gavin Newsom.

Item: According to a recent survey, the two "sexiest jobs" are firefighter and flight attendant.

Reaction: Does that include female firefighters and male flight attendants?

Item: Gov. Schwarzenegger suggested in a speech yesterday that the U.S. "close the borders" to immigrants.

Reaction: Brown immigrants, he means.

Item: A delivery truck crashed into a corner store in Oakland.

Reaction: They deliver things to Oakland?

Item: Looking like rain for the weekend, eh, Steve?

Reaction: Crap.