Friday, August 12, 2005

I know, what have I done for you lately? Well, as evidenced by the previous entry, it's in no-one's best interest that I put something up here just to put something up here. So in the tradition of great blog titans stretching back into the mists of time, I ask that you sit patiently while I replenish my creative juices. Perhaps a game of "UNO" is in order.

However, it isn't my style to leave you with nothing, so here, for your infotainification, are

Top Excuses for Not Updating Blog
... from Ye Olde Time-Traveler's Intercerebral Data Stream Gazette-Weekly, August 12, 6,000,000 B.C.—3456 A.D.—B4/X Timesphere

  • Was out late gathering sticks, rocks, animal hides, and disco clothing for clan's participation in tomorrow's Holo-Laser Orbital Battle and Old-Tyme Ice Cream Social

  • Helen of Troy may be good in the sack, but she burned down my damn teepee trying to make French toast, and she can't drive a hoverbike to save her life

  • Let's just say that those people who warn you about hanging around with your hormone-crazed teenaged grandmother are right

  • Still cleaning up the mess that Cornelius, Zira, and Karl Marx made at my cubewarming party last night

  • You'd never believe what a pain in the ass it is to create a stable timesphere matrix using only substances available in 12th-century Utah

  • I don't care how damn busy he is; if I link to freakin' Fredrick the Great, he should link to me, end of story

  • Mammoth tusk stuck in my drivetrain, again

  • Summoned to late 20th-century California to help some losers with their history report

  • You know how we were wondering what it would be like if the Mongol horde had conquered Europe? Well, before I left for my last trip, you weren't eating yak butter and your middle name wasn't Genghis

  • Busy downloading that video of Pamela Anderson doin' it with Shakespeare

  • Just because Proust posts twenty damn times a day doesn't mean everybody should do it