Wrapped Up Like A Douche

Kids These Days Are Wimps



At least, that was my first thought on seeing the "No Name-Calling Week" thing. (This is at least partially due to bitterness that my middle school never had such a week, and that even if it had, it would only have resulted in a deluge of defiant abuse on a massive scale.)

But then again, there's the show I saw the other night on PBS where inner-city teenagers staged ruthless cage-matches between 9-year-olds in order to teach them how to defend themselves when they're inevitably attacked in other, less-friendly neighborhoods, before going home to look after their orphaned younger siblings.

So I'm thinking a happy medium is in order. Maybe something about ruthless cage-matches between name-calling rich kids. We'll work out the details later. What's important is that a snake and a hamster are friends.