Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Rerun Week: Tuesday!

Hey hey hey, lovely readers! Fred Berry here from beyond the beyond with another installment of WULAD's Rerun Week (brought to you today by your Tristate Lincoln-Mercury dealers). The dude who runs this site is still doin' his thang over at Junkiness, so we give to you another fine recycled post from way back in January 2005, when our fine president had just been sworn in for another four years of divinely-inspired leadership. And let me tell you, people, I've talked to the Man Upstairs, and he really does talk to Bush all the time. But He does it in Swedish! Ah ha ha, I'll be here all week. And away we go!

Humorous Examples of "Bushisms" in Today’s Inaugural Address by the President

  • "I hear there's rumors on the Internets that we're going to invade Antarctica, and those rumors are 100% true. I mean false."

  • "I saw a poll that said the right track/wrong track in Iraq was better than here in America. So get ready for some electrified genitals, people."

  • "But all in all, it's been a fabulous year for Laura and me and our Shadowy Masonic Masters."

  • "I think they misunderestimated the will and determination of the Commander-in-Chief, too. The determination to—oh, I don't know... release the ravenous attack dogs!? Just kiddin'."

  • "You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things. Things like kidnapping Ted Kennedy, stripping him naked and dumping him on my ranch with nothing more than a pointed stick with which to defend himself as I slowly but surely hunt him down like a fat, wounded moose."

  • "One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared.' Prepared to put the gays in camps."

  • "When I was a kid I remember that they used to put out there in the Old West a wanted poster. It said, Wanted: Dead or Alive. Like a cowboy. On a steel horse I ride. The steel horse of freedom. And you could say that in the past four years I've seen, probably, a million faces. And you could say I've rocked them all."

  • "There's an old saying that says, fool me once, shame on—shame on you. Fool me—you can't get fooled again. I'm abolishing the constitution."

  • "Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning to submit to my iron will?"

  • "I know how hard it is to put bombs on your family."