Quiero Round Egg

This morning, to celebrate my significant other's final day at her job before moving on to greener pastures, we stopped at McDonald's for breakfast. (She is a big fan of the Egg McMuffin, so we occasionally stop there as a treat. Neither of us likes any of their non-breakfast food.) Usually I do the when-in-Rome thing and get an Egg McMuffin also—and I enjoy them, don't get me wrong, although I find them to be a pale imitation of the rockin' breakfast sandwiches I used to get in New York (like the many bacon, egg & cheese bagels I downed here). —But today I decided to buck the system, and try to recreate the glory of breakfast sandwiches past.

McDonald's does in fact have a Bacon, Egg & Cheese Bagel——and although the bagel is puffy and doughy and the bacon is flat, it's not a bad sandwich altogether if, like me, you're 3000 miles from the nearest competent breakfast-sandwich-maker. However, for whatever reason, they took the best part of the Egg McMuffin—the over-hard fried egg——and replaced it with a lame folded sheet of pre-scrambled eggish product. I have no idea why they would do this, other than to "mix it up."



What if, I wondered, you combined the correct non-egg ingredients of the Bacon Egg & Cheese Bagel with the perfectly prepared egg of the Egg McMuffin? Could I create a little taste of New York, albeit a slightly rubbery and pre-fab one?

So while understanding that McDonald's is not the sort of place where you can expect to "have it your way," I thought it was worth at least asking whether this Frankenbreakfast was possible. I approached the subject delicately with our "team member."

"I want a Bacon, Egg & Cheese Bagel, but——"

"One Bacon, Egg & Cheese Bagel," she barked.

"But wait," I added carefully, "you know how the Egg McMuffin uses a different egg? Can I get that kind of egg? Not like the folded scrambled one that's on the bagel."

"You want a scrambled egg?' she asked.

"No, no," I quickly said, "like the Egg McMuffin."

She turned to the line, and said, "Bacon Egg & Cheese bagel... quiere round egg."

It was just that easy. And it was delicious.