Monday, February 09, 2004

Still More Top Excuses for Not Updating Blog published in Ye Olde Medieval Tech News and Witchcraft Gazette, February 9, 1204 A.D.:

  • Distracted by bare ankle of Lady Janette during stake-burning halftime show of ScourgeBowl ‘04

  • Just flew in from a catapult in Saxony, and man, are my arms tired

  • Locked self in the bathroom all day with my copy of Liber augmenti et diminutionis vacatus numeratio divinationis, if you know what I mean

  • Convinced that blogs were created by our sworn enemies the Normans to steal our attention while they plunder our townships and teach our womenfolk how to read

  • Beginning to think I shouldn’t have made out with that leper chick at the office party

  • Tired of making cheap jokes at the expense of the heathen Chinese, and their silly “Great Wall” and “gunpowder”

  • Bandwidth is for shit ever since Royal Telecom of His Majesty Richard I merged with Aquitaine Online

  • Ideas not coming so easily after having evil headache spirits drilled out of skull

  • My days of blasphemy are over, as I promised some Pope while I was on the rack

  • Concerned about vulnerability to worms in Windows 1200 and my infected leg wound

  • Heart not in it ever since Thomas รก Becket bit the big one

  • Was up late with the pogroms and whatnot

  • Tired of making cheap jokes at the expense of the heathen Arabs, and their ridiculous “libraries” and “spherical trigonometry”

  • Computer made of hay, pitch, and stone surprisingly ineffective