Monday, February 23, 2004

Two Men (or Two Women or One Man and One Woman) Enter, One Man (or Woman or Two Women or One Man and One Woman if it’s a Tie) Leave
Mimi Smartypants thinks that Jack Black and Jack White should duke it out on Pay-per-View. While I support this (as it would result in one or the other of these overhyped people getting beat up on television), I also see it as an opportunity to promote some other big-ticket bouts:

  • Shelly Long v. Martin Short
  • Gary Oldman v. Henny Youngman
  • Al Goldstein v. Shel Silverstein
  • Aaron Sorkin v. Andrea Dworkin
  • Cynthia Nixon v. Trot Nixon
  • James Joyce v. Joyce Brothers
  • Betty Ford v. Abraham Lincoln v. Freddy Mercury
  • George W. Bush v. Joe Q. Twat
I now throw down this gauntlet (or gantlet if you’re a know-it-all) at the feet of our noble readers. Don’t disappoint me now...