Wrapped Up Like A Douche

Wrapped Up Like a Challenge
Well, pretty much everybody stepped up to the plate on this one, and the sheer quality of the entries made it nearly impossible for the WULAD Award Assembly to pick one winner. So instead we’ve compiled an Honor Roll of top submissions:

• Glenn Frey v. Rachael Leigh Cook
  
• Harvey Firestein v. Sam Waterston
  
• Jerry Hall v. Joyce Carol Oates (Both of these girls’ kisses are on my list. This batch of gems is from Señor Wences.)
  
  
• The Rock v. Little Jackie Paper v. Edward Scissorhands (This may be the out-and-out Most Clever one, from hot toddy.)
  
  
• Ed "Too Tall" Jones v. Too $hort (and I could probably add "v. John Holmes." From Flub.)
  
  
• Adam Carolla v. Toyota Corolla
  
• Dan Marino v. a Nissan Murano (Kudos to NotTheRock for bringing cars into this. Coincidentally, those are two people I actually would like to see fight cars.)
  
  
• J Kwon v. Raekwan v. MyGreatOne (This is an inside joke from C-Baby. You’ll have to take my word that it’s funny.)
  
  
• Howard Dean v. Yoko Ono (This one from OATO made no sense at first, but I realized that they both have a penchant for screaming incoherently.)

And in a special "Obscure but Outstanding" category, Richard had some good jazz ones which might need some explanation for the general public...

• Wayne Shorter v. Michel Petrucciani (Petrucciani is about 3 feet tall.)
  
• Wingy Manone v. Horace Parlan (v. Dave Liebman, I guess) (I don’t get this one, but it must have some meaning since his other ones are so inspired.)
  
• Red Norvo v. Grant Green v. Blue Mitchell (v. Gray Davis, maybe? Can he play an instrument?)
  
• Gary Peacock v. Donald Byrd (v. Cat Anderson) (Cat would win. Also, this is one trio gig I wouldn't want to miss.)

Since everyone’s contributions were so meritorious, WULAD has created a special downloadable award for all of you, which can be viewed here. This is only to be viewed by people who submitted entries—any others who look upon it shall bring a curse upon themselves and all the fruit of their accursed loins. Thanks for participating!

P.S. James Cagney v. Lacey Peterson, Cokie Roberts v. Pol Pot, Wesley Clark v. Jeff Kent, Buddy Holly v. Natalie Wood, Zazu Pitts v. Alban Berg...