Wednesday, August 04, 2004

New Slogans for Bush/Cheney ‘04
The President’s reelection campaign has been on the offensive since last week’s Democratic National Convention. What are some of the new catch-phrases they’re using to energize voters?

  • We’ve Turned the Corner, and There Was a Terrorist Around the Corner, So We Electrocuted His Genitals

  • All Over that Shit Since 9/12

  • We Haven’t Found Osama, But We’ll Take Out Obama If It’ll Make You Feel Better

  • We Only Regret that We Have But One Life to Give for the CitiCorp Building

  • Kerry’s a Fag

  • It’s Early Afternoon in America, and I’m Going to Play a Quick Game of Madden 2004 and Then Take a Nap

  • Bush and Cheney Had Very Good Reasons for Not Going to Vietnam, Such as—Terror Alert!

  • Democrats Want to Steal Your Cable

  • We Could Give You Bin Laden Now but It Would Ruin the September Surprise

  • Edwards? Fag.

  • The Poor and Middle Class are Going to Get It Up the Butt, and What are You Going to Do About It, You Liberal Jerks?

  • Vote For Whoever You Want, But When the Lord’s Wrath Smites You, Don’t Come Crying to Us

  • We’re Pro-Environment, if by “Environment” You Mean “the Act of Environing; State of Being Environed” or Possibly “the Circumstances or Conditions that Surround One; Surroundings.”

  • The Democrats Will Rape Your Pets

  • We Think LaToya Should Have Won, Too—and We Will Not Rest Until Justice is Done

  • America—the Shining City on a Hill that Rules the Heathens with the Mighty Iron Fist of Holy Vengeance

  • We Only Regret that You Have But One Life to Give for Our Country