Thursday, January 20, 2005

Humorous Examples of "Bushisms" in Today’s Inaugural Address by the President

  • "I hear there's rumors on the Internets that we're going to invade Antarctica, and those rumors are 100% true. I mean false."

  • "I saw a poll that said the right track/wrong track in Iraq was better than here in America. So get ready for some electrified genitals, people."

  • "But all in all, it's been a fabulous year for Laura and me and our Shadowy Masonic Masters."

  • "I think they misunderestimated the will and determination of the Commander-in-Chief, too. The determination to—oh, I don't know... release the ravenous attack dogs!? Just kiddin'."

  • "You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things. Things like kidnapping Ted Kennedy, stripping him naked and dumping him on my ranch with nothing more than a pointed stick with which to defend himself as I slowly but surely hunt him down like a fat, wounded moose."

  • "One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared.' Prepared to put the gays in camps."

  • "When I was a kid I remember that they used to put out there in the Old West a wanted poster. It said, Wanted: Dead or Alive. Like a cowboy. On a steel horse I ride. The steel horse of freedom. And you could say that in the past four years I've seen, probably, a million faces. And you could say I've rocked them all."

  • "There's an old saying that says, fool me once, shame on—shame on you. Fool me—you can't get fooled again. I'm abolishing the constitution."

  • "Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning to submit to my iron will?"

  • "I know how hard it is to put bombs on your family."