Friday, February 18, 2005

Howdy everyone, it’'s that time of the week when the mind of the nine-to-fiver has ripened to a soft, mulchy pulp and bloggers everywhere trot out their poorest key-jingling excuses for entertainment, so prepare yourselves for... Friday Grab-Bag!

Part I: More Fun with Racial Stereotypes
Last night, C-Baby and I made one of our regular pilgrimages to Japantown in search of Saba Shioyaki (grilled mackerel), which she values somewhere between solid gold and food and shelter. For those who may not have been there, J-Town can seem like it was built by people from Kansas who learned everything they know about Japan from The Karate Kid Part II, complete with fake indoor bamboo awnings, rocks, and trees. In spite of this, it’'s a very popular shopping and dining spot——for genuine Asians and Asian-Americans looking for a taste of home, as well as for pasty white guys looking for demure girls with visa troubles.

Anyway, as we were walking past a book store with a TV in the window, I saw a black and white image of a Japanese man in a suit, and thought, "“Oh, that must be the emperor."” Then after a second, I said to C-Baby, "“You know, I was convinced in my mind that the guy I just saw on television was the emperor, but now that I think of it, he could’'ve just been any Japanese guy in a suit.”"

“"Kind of like when you thought Barack Obama was going to bring your luggage?"” she asked.

However, since I came of age in the 80s, when Japan was an economic powerhouse, one would think I would be more likely to expect the Japanese to be successful businessmen, etc., and not think that the only way a Japanese guy gets to wear a suit is if he’'s the emperor. So the more I think of it, I may have been recognizing an image I’'d seen somewhere before—and I think there’'s a good chance he really was the emperor. In your face, racial prejudice!

Part II: Moral Ambiguity
I may be a bad person for taking great pleasure in this story (via C-Baby)...

But I don’'t think I’m a bad person for really hoping this tanks:

(Get it? It's like Bugs and Daffy, only Extreme! Extreme to the Max, Yo Yo Yo!)

Part III: Because It’s Been a While
The following are search terms used to access this site that I really wish I made up:

obnoxious baby. Have some consideration for others.
domination sex stories kicked in groin text
bitch "wrestling match"
"Nude sportscasters"
Jacques Derrida disease photo
"her buttcrack"
Sophocles soft porn
urinal watching
buy Dick Cheney go fuck yourself mug
songs to sing on a Baptist bus route old soldiers
Harry Caray Cubs announcer no pants photo
pictures of Condoleeza Rice in swimwear
Tina Yothers breast size
customs cavity search balls
etiquette guide "not wearing pants"
Buddhist principles Barry Zito
a pat monkeys to buy for me i am disable people in
Cuba hookers
surfer dude donkey dick
Fool me once toast
Art Garfunkel and pornography
Old Sad Eyes by Sammy Fein
shirtless Korean pop stars
girl scout in uniform
Wilford Brimley shirtless
...But I didn’t make them up. Enjoy your President and Sovereign God-Anointed Ruler Holiday!