Wrapped Up Like A Douche

The Only Thing I Will Say About That One Brain-Dead Lady Who is Now Also Body-Dead
It really bugged me that the talking heads kept saying things like, "Terri Schiavo's long fight to stay alive ended this morning," or referring to her "struggle" or "battle for survival." Wasn't no battling going on, folks, at least not from Laci—I mean Elián—I mean Terri.

Quotes of Note, Vol. mxcvii

"You probably picked the shittiest cab in the whole city today, my friend."

-My cab driver on a recent morning, less than ten seconds after I entered the car.

"Oh, I love jazz. But then I guess everybody does."

-A temp, after being told what I do with my free time. It's sad that I find this so hilarious.

"Governor Schwarzenegger has proposed eliminating the Cesar Chavez holiday... in an attempt to starve off a budget crisis."

-KRON 4's Terisa Estacio, in a report this morning. Not that funny, but I felt "starve off" was a particularly ill-timed misspeak.