Wrapped Up Like A Douche

These Two Guys Reflect on the Upcoming Release of Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the What-Have-You



What up, dawg?!
Hey there. Good to see you.
Are you psyched?
Hm?
I said are you psyched?!
Oh, yeah, pretty psyched, I guess.
Cuz it’s gonna be awesome!
Yeah, probably.
More like definitely, Brah. Like you’re-gonna-shit-your-pants awesome, dude.
Yeah. Well, it should be pretty cool anyway.
‘Pretty cool.’ OK, dude, have it your way. It’s gonna rock, is what I’m sayin’.
I mean, I’m sure it’ll be cool, but you know, don’t you think there are other things to think about in this world?
Like what, homeslice?
You know, like the deteriorating situation in Iraq, for example—I mean, the new government is basically going to be doing nothing but planning funerals for the foreseeable future, and every day our troops stay there they’re more universally opposed. And North Korea could probably drop an ICBM at Hollywood & Vine if that lunatic Kim woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Not to mention the fact that we’re probably all going to be toast in 60 years anyway, with coastal flooding and inland droughts and catastrophic weather and Bush is focused on drilling for more oil when even a modest reduction in consumption and emissions could make the situation less dire. Also I’m wondering about the possibility of a global flu pandemic, a bioterrorism attack, dirty bombs, mad cow disease, youth violence and malaise, and genocide in the Sudan.
[Pause]
I don’t know, maybe I’m being too morbid. You know what, I think you’re right. It is gonna be pretty cool. I mean, Revenge of the Sith! Woo hoo! Star Wars, baby!
What are you talkin’ about, dude?
Weren’t you asking if I was psyched about Star Wars coming out?
Nah, man, I’m marryin’ your mom!


Format inspired by Some Dude With Whom I Recently Scrapped.