Wrapped Up Like A Douche

Names to Use When Responding to People Who Know Your Name But Whose Names You Never Learned or are Temporarily Drawing a Blank On, In Decreasing Order of Effectiveness

Bud
You
Guy
Man
Chief
Big Guy
My Man
My Main Man
Big Chief
My Main Big Chief Guy
Ji- am... ohn- Ste... Lou
Darlin'
Little Lady
Little Darlin'
You Fine Fat Fellow
Sweetiecakes
Your Holiness
Your Bad Self
You Sweet Thang
You Son-of-a-Bitch
Doug
Thelonious
Really Morbidly Obese Guy
Mistah Charley
King Kamehawhatever
Chief Wahoo
My Nigga
Sweet-Tits
Not-So-Sweet-Tits
Chief Knockahoma
My Chinaman
You Big Dumb Son-of-a-Bitch--No, This Guy Knows I Love Him, Don't Ya, Asshole?
Your Royal Jerkoffness
Mr. Garfunkel
Dad