Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Items You May Want to Stock Up On, Now That Alito Has Been Confirmed

  • Minority Employees
  • Copies of Brokeback Mountain
  • "Freak" Dancing
  • Porn (Mainstream)
  • Porn (Dwarf)
  • Precious Bodiliy Fluids
  • Scuba Gear
  • Hot Jazz Music
  • Porn (Smurf)
  • Skinny-dipping Suits
  • Cinemax
  • T-Shirts featuring Che Guevara or Cornelius from Planet of the Apes
  • Coat Hangers*
  • Medicinal Marijuana
  • Recreational Antibiotics
  • Homeopathic RU486
  • Food Items Containing Sinful Mix of Chocolate and Peanut Butter
  • Witty, Irreverent Blogs
  • Freedom
*What? You telling me you're not going to need to hang your coat?

I still think my nominee was better.