Wrapped Up Like a Hollywood Scoop!

I'll bet you thought you were done with the Mel Gibson thing! Well, you're not!

WULAD has obtained an exclusive copy of the Special Extended Edition of Mel Gibson's new project, DUI Arrest Transcript II: Eclectic BlameaJew*, in which Mel distributes his drunken vitriol much more democratically to reach members of many other ethnic, racial, and religious groups. Here are some highlights:

[*You know how I declared a moratorium a while back on new "Electric Boogaloo" jokes? I lied.]

• "The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world."
  
  
• “What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?”
  
  
• "The Norse are responsible for all the boring sagas in the world."
  
  
• "The gays are responsible for all the gaudiest footwear in the world. Also that guy who played Jesus was hot."
  
  
• "What do you think you're looking at, cinnamon elbows?"
  
  
• "Nick Denton is responsible for all the shitty blogs in the world, which I guess means all the blogs."
  
  
• "The Catholics are responsible for all the hottest schoolgirl uniforms in the world. But the Japanese are a close second. I mean c'mon, now."
  
  
• "What do you think you're looking at, Nutrasweet® eyebrows?"
  
  
• "The Armenians are responsible for ruining 'Baywatch.'"
  
  
• "If there had been a holocaust, the New York Yankees would've been responsible for it, but there wasn't, so they're just overpaid jerks."
  
  
• "What do you think you're looking at, high-fructose corn syrup vagina?"
  
  
• "Tina Turner is responsible for all the wars in Bartertown."
  
  
• "What do you think you're looking at, sun-dried tomato pesto envelopes?"
  
  
• "Mel Gibson is Gibson for all the Mel Gibson in the Mel."
  
  
• "The beans are responsible for all the bean/cornbread fights in the world, since they're always knocking cornbread out of sight. I don't care what happens on the corner tomorrow night. F****g beans!"