A Note

Hi everyone—

I know 98% of you are visiting this site today looking for pictures of Britney Spears' ladyparts, but I'm sorry to say you won't find them here.

Instead, please enjoy this picture of a delicious sausage, egg & cheese bagel which I ate in New York once. You'll be much better off than if you'd seen you-know-who's you-know-what. Trust me on this one.