Star Wars, Episode VII: The Crappy TV Show

I've got a new article up at Cracked today, which is pissing off the nerds royally ("the other nerds, you mean"), and which you might enjoy:

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... you respected George Lucas. Just when you thought he had finished defiling your cherished memories, the Star Wars creator (and destroyer) announced yesterday that he plans to exhume those memories, rip their heads off, and take a dump down their necks:

George Lucas is planning a live-action television series spinoff of the "Star Wars" film franchise... which will not include the films' major characters. "The Skywalkers aren't in it, and it's about minor characters," Lucas told the Times on Tuesday.

... So on the off-chance that he's still open to suggestions about this minor-character-driven show, and in gratitude for the good times we once shared before he blew it all to hell, I'd like to offer the following show ideas, absolutely free:

Catching Up with the Fetts
$25,000 Jedi Mind-Trick Pyramid
Womprat Manor
Are You Smarter than a Tauntaun?
Mos Eisley Vice
Akbar, P.I.
America's Next Top Jawa

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