Friday, November 09, 2007

Time and Time Again

A group of renegade supernerds believe they may finally have discovered a way in which to develop the long-desired Holy Grail of theoretical physics and sci-fi TV show plot-holes---a time machine:

A new concept for a time machine could possibly enable distant future generations to travel into the past, research now suggests. Unlike past ideas for time machines, this new concept does not require exotic, theoretical forms of matter. Still, this new idea requires technology far more advanced than anything existing today, and major questions remain as to whether any time machine would ever prove stable enough to enable actual travel back in time.
Assuming the technical challenges can be overcome, the team's first priorities once the machine has been constructed include:
  • Operation Buy Hitler's Paintings

  • Operation Nail Marylin Monroe

  • Operation Convince Lee Harvey Oswald to Attend a Short Presentation About the Benefits of Owning a Timeshare Resort

  • Operation Barbara Bush Birth Control

  • Operation Prevent Star Wars Episodes I-III... by Any Means Necessary

  • Operation Beat Up Joey Schwartz, Take Suzy Benato to the 8th Grade Dance, Catch the Infamous Dropped Pass in the Championship Game, and Become So Popular and Successful That We Lose Interest in Science and Never Get Around to Inventing a Time Machine
[Note: originally posted at The Cleaver, but upon seeing it again, I believe you loyal WULADeers might appreciate it more.]