Monday, February 02, 2004

More Top Excuses for Not Updating Blog reported in The New York Times in Your Skull, Feb 2, 2104 A.D.

  • Ambushed by cloned self in dark alley, organs stolen while unconscious

  • Worn out from long night with AguileraBot

  • Third head really killing me today

  • Ordered to report to Iraq by Generalissimo Dick Cheney IV, again

  • Busy penning article on genius of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, now universally acknowledged as best film ever made

  • Demoralized by lack of good holo-comments

  • Distracted by Janet Jackson’s reanimated singing nipple during SuperBowl CXXXVIII

  • Following 11th Commandment ("Thou shalt have no other blogs before mine"), recently posted by God 2.0 on

  • Immersed in oeuvre of greatest living American novelist Paris Hilton (especially her epic Finnegans Wake 2: Electric Boogaloo)

  • Made self sick by eating 22 bowls of Soylent Green just to get to prize at bottom of box

  • Lost interest when told that blogs now outnumber humans by factor of twelve