More Top Excuses for Not Updating Blog
...as reported in The New York Times in Your Skull, Feb 2, 2104 A.D.
- Ambushed by cloned self in dark alley, organs stolen while unconscious
- Worn out from long night with AguileraBot
- Third head really killing me today
- Ordered to report to Iraq by Generalissimo Dick Cheney IV, again
- Busy penning article on genius of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, now universally acknowledged as best film ever made
- Demoralized by lack of good holo-comments
- Distracted by Janet Jackson’s reanimated singing nipple during SuperBowl CXXXVIII
- Following 11th Commandment ("Thou shalt have no other blogs before mine"), recently posted by God 2.0 on www.BlogAlmighty.com
- Immersed in oeuvre of greatest living American novelist Paris Hilton (especially her epic Finnegans Wake 2: Electric Boogaloo)
- Made self sick by eating 22 bowls of Soylent Green just to get to prize at bottom of box
- Lost interest when told that blogs now outnumber humans by factor of twelve
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