Friday, January 30, 2004

Top Excuses for Not Updating Blog tabulated by American Academy of Important Statistics and Stuff, Jan. 2004:

  • Computer incapacitated by baloney sandwich wedged in D: drive

  • Hospitalized following drunken fracas at LegoLand

  • Busy rummaging through Spalding Gray’s trash for “clues”

  • Meeting with Commissioner of Baseball to discuss possible reinstatement on way to dog track

  • Grounded

  • Developed carpal-tunnel syndrome following launch of

  • Sent to Alaskan military school by dad following flunking of History exam due to George Carlin’s interference

  • Recruited unexpectedly to fill vacancy in The Bloodhound Gang

  • Searching for weapons of mass destruction and babes

  • Didn’t feel like it


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