Tuesday, December 21, 2004

All I Want for Christmas

  • A starring role in Lord of the Rings IV: Hobbit Gangbang

  • Carlos Delgado in a Mets jersey

  • My two front arms

  • A home in a parallel universe where the last two Star Wars movies were never created

  • To git more smarter

  • An end to the incessant telepathic orders to kill Lewis Lapham

  • The head of Alfredo Garcia and an iPod

  • A carton of cigarettes for El Macho, for this week’s protection

  • To rock and roll all night, and party every day except Wednesday

  • A brain, a heart, courage, ruby slippers, and an enormous schlong

  • Peace, Joy, crap like that