Thursday, February 03, 2005

A Little of This, a Little of That

Unsuccessful New Menu Items at Starbucks

  • Caffè Afghanistano
  • Le Mustard Mocha
  • Lipitorani
  • Créme d’Guy Behind the Counter
  • Crabbuccino
  • Paté Au Lait
  • Chaw Lattè
  • Steamed Breast Milk
  • The $6 Grande Empty Cup

More Rejected Monster Truck Names
  • Crochet Commando
  • BigColon
  • The NAMBLA Rambla
  • Lionel Ritchie IV
  • The Pap Smearer
  • American Gay Spirit II
  • Hammerin’ Hemorrhoid
  • Food Stamp Stomper
  • Sweetykins III

Best Potential Anti-Bush Slogans to Come Out of Last Night’s Speech
  • I Got Your Generational Commitment to the Advance of Freedom Right Here
  • You Can Have My Marriage License When You Pull it From My Hot Gay Fingers
  • "Clean Coal" is Like "Hygienic Hookers"
  • War! What is it Good For? Photo Ops
  • Pull My Purple Finger
  • Privatize This
I know, I'm forcing it. I need a vacation.