Wrapped Up Like A Douche

And now, the moment none of you have been waiting for: it's another edition of

Names in the News
...as Interviewed by 80s Pop Sensation Joe Doice

Welcome back, everyone. Joining Joe today is a very special guest—ladies and gentlemen, you know him, you love him, he's George W. Bush, president of the United States. President Bush is married with two daughters, lives in Texas and also enjoys visiting Washington, where he has a remote office. So without further ado, here's your host, Joe Doice... [Applause]

Q: What’s-a matta you?
Katrina exposed serious problems in our response capability at all levels of government, and to the extent that the federal government didn't fully do its job right, I take responsibility.

Q: Got-a no respect?
One of the things that people want us to do here is to play a blame game.

Q: What-a you think you doin’?
That's a very important question. And it's in our national interest that we find out exactly what went on—so that we can better respond.

Q: Why you look-a so sad?
We got to solve problems. There will be ample time to figure out what went right and what went wrong.

Q: It’s-a not so bad.
I believe the town where I used to come—from Houston, Texas, to enjoy myself, occasionally too much—will be that very same town, that it will be a better place to come to.

Q: It’s-a nice-a place.
Out of the rubbles of Trent Lott's house—he's lost his entire house—there's going to be a fantastic house. And I'm looking forward to sitting on the porch.

Q: Ah, shaddup-a you face.

That’s all the time we have for this edition of Names in the News; join us next week, when Joe will once again ask the tough questions. Until then... Shaddup-a You Face, America! Good night!

Want more Names in the News with Joe Doice? Didn't think so! Here it is anyway.