Top Excuses for Not Updating Blog
...as tabulated by American Academy of Important Statistics and Stuff, Jan. 2004:
- Computer incapacitated by baloney sandwich wedged in D: drive
- Hospitalized following drunken fracas at LegoLand
- Busy rummaging through Spalding Gray’s trash for “clues”
- Meeting with Commissioner of Baseball to discuss possible reinstatement on way to dog track
- Grounded
- Developed carpal-tunnel syndrome following launch of HotMaryPoppinsAction.com
- Sent to Alaskan military school by dad following flunking of History exam due to George Carlin’s interference
- Recruited unexpectedly to fill vacancy in The Bloodhound Gang
- Searching for weapons of mass destruction and babes
- Didn’t feel like it
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