Friday, August 25, 2006

Rerun Week: Friday!

Hey, everybody, Ernest Thomas here filling in for the ghost of Fred Berry (who had a gig at the Illinois State Fair today), with the final installment of WULAD's Rerun Week (brought to you today by Archer Daniels Midland). With any luck, WULAD Editorial Team will be back from their guest-stint at Junkiness on Monday. Until then, sit back, relax, and enjoy...

Top Excuses for Not Updating Blog reported in Zok’s Prehistoric Post-Examiner and Ladies’ Cave Journal, June 2, 500,000 B.C.

  • Computer buried under two-mile-thick ice sheet

  • Busy testing theory that saber-toothed cats just want someone to love (FYI—theory now considered in need of revision)

  • Bandwidth is for shit ever since LaurasiaLink and Gondwanaland Broadband taken over by Pangaea Online

  • Spent hours crafting lengthy opinion piece about how Neanderthals are only good at dancing and sports, only to have it eaten by computer, which was then eaten by Neanderthals

  • Tiny protohuman brain have serious problem with HTML and CSS—how Style Sheet work, anyway?

  • Grog*Spot site-hosting increasingly spotty since Grog discovered fermented mastodon milk

  • Still scratching head over morning’s appearance of large black monolith accompanied by overbearing and bombastic Strauss score

  • Stayed out too late at Huey Lewis show

  • Web server constructed of mud, spit, and bones of giant sloth surprisingly ineffective

  • Can’t get in the mood ever since iPod eaten by Tyrannosaur—just kidding, Zok know dinosaurs not coexist with cavemen.

  • Trying to develop new web app to streamline file transfer, but instead keep coming up with strange, hot, orange, smoking thing that burn Zok’s hands

  • "Clan of the Cave Bear"? More like Clan of the Shitty Neighbors Who Won’t Shut Up All Night!
...More Top Excuses through history here, here, here, here, and here.