Friday, September 08, 2006

Quiero Round Egg

This morning, to celebrate my significant other's final day at her job before moving on to greener pastures, we stopped at McDonald's for breakfast. (She is a big fan of the Egg McMuffin, so we occasionally stop there as a treat. Neither of us likes any of their non-breakfast food.) Usually I do the when-in-Rome thing and get an Egg McMuffin also—and I enjoy them, don't get me wrong, although I find them to be a pale imitation of the rockin' breakfast sandwiches I used to get in New York (like the many bacon, egg & cheese bagels I downed here). —But today I decided to buck the system, and try to recreate the glory of breakfast sandwiches past.

McDonald's does in fact have a Bacon, Egg & Cheese Bagel——and although the bagel is puffy and doughy and the bacon is flat, it's not a bad sandwich altogether if, like me, you're 3000 miles from the nearest competent breakfast-sandwich-maker. However, for whatever reason, they took the best part of the Egg McMuffin—the over-hard fried egg——and replaced it with a lame folded sheet of pre-scrambled eggish product. I have no idea why they would do this, other than to "mix it up."

What if, I wondered, you combined the correct non-egg ingredients of the Bacon Egg & Cheese Bagel with the perfectly prepared egg of the Egg McMuffin? Could I create a little taste of New York, albeit a slightly rubbery and pre-fab one?

So while understanding that McDonald's is not the sort of place where you can expect to "have it your way," I thought it was worth at least asking whether this Frankenbreakfast was possible. I approached the subject delicately with our "team member."

"I want a Bacon, Egg & Cheese Bagel, but——"

"One Bacon, Egg & Cheese Bagel," she barked.

"But wait," I added carefully, "you know how the Egg McMuffin uses a different egg? Can I get that kind of egg? Not like the folded scrambled one that's on the bagel."

"You want a scrambled egg?' she asked.

"No, no," I quickly said, "like the Egg McMuffin."

She turned to the line, and said, "Bacon Egg & Cheese bagel... quiere round egg."

It was just that easy. And it was delicious.