Top Excuses for Not Updating Blog
...as reported in Zok’s Prehistoric Post-Examiner and Ladies’ Cave Journal, June 2, 500,000 B.C.
- Computer buried under two-mile-thick ice sheet
- Busy testing theory that saber-toothed cats just want someone to love (FYI—theory now considered in need of revision)
- Bandwidth is for shit ever since LaurasiaLink and Gondwanaland Broadband taken over by Pangaea Online
- Spent hours crafting lengthy opinion piece about how Neanderthals are only good at dancing and sports, only to have it eaten by computer, which was then eaten by Neanderthals
- Tiny protohuman brain have serious problem with HTML and CSS—how Style Sheet work, anyway?
- Grog*Spot site-hosting increasingly spotty since Grog discovered fermented mastodon milk
- Still scratching head over morning’s appearance of large black monolith accompanied by overbearing and bombastic Strauss score
- Stayed out too late at Huey Lewis show
- Web server constructed of mud, spit, and bones of giant sloth surprisingly ineffective
- Can’t get in the mood ever since iPod eaten by Tyrannosaur—just kidding, Zok know dinosaurs not coexist with cavemen.
- Trying to develop new web app to streamline file transfer, but instead keep coming up with strange, hot, orange, smoking thing that burn Zok’s hands
- "Clan of the Cave Bear"? More like Clan of the Shitty Neighbors Who Won’t Shut Up All Night!
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