Thursday, June 02, 2005

Top Excuses for Not Updating Blog reported in Zok’s Prehistoric Post-Examiner and Ladies’ Cave Journal, June 2, 500,000 B.C.

  • Computer buried under two-mile-thick ice sheet

  • Busy testing theory that saber-toothed cats just want someone to love (FYI—theory now considered in need of revision)

  • Bandwidth is for shit ever since LaurasiaLink and Gondwanaland Broadband taken over by Pangaea Online

  • Spent hours crafting lengthy opinion piece about how Neanderthals are only good at dancing and sports, only to have it eaten by computer, which was then eaten by Neanderthals

  • Tiny protohuman brain have serious problem with HTML and CSS—how Style Sheet work, anyway?

  • Grog*Spot site-hosting increasingly spotty since Grog discovered fermented mastodon milk

  • Still scratching head over morning’s appearance of large black monolith accompanied by overbearing and bombastic Strauss score

  • Stayed out too late at Huey Lewis show

  • Web server constructed of mud, spit, and bones of giant sloth surprisingly ineffective

  • Can’t get in the mood ever since iPod eaten by Tyrannosaur—just kidding, Zok know dinosaurs not coexist with cavemen.

  • Trying to develop new web app to streamline file transfer, but instead keep coming up with strange, hot, orange, smoking thing that burn Zok’s hands

  • "Clan of the Cave Bear"? More like Clan of the Shitty Neighbors Who Won’t Shut Up All Night!
...More Top Excuses through history here, here, here, here, and here.